noscript
tags. Include a link to bypass the detection if you wish.
10/12
Hippie and I agreed that it would be terrific fun to have Boris the Spider mounted in the ceiling of the Yacht Club above the bar. This was in August, before I actually built Boris. We concluded, "It could be a bitch, but it would be cool."
Boris ended up being a little bigger than I thought. But I still made it so he could hang upside down at the Yacht. Hippie met him at the kick-off party and was still game. We concluded it could really be a bitch, but it would be really cool."
So they put a hook in the ceiling and called me last night. I got Boris' tux shirt and spats together and Hippie came over with his pick-up. We put his head in the front seat and tied down his body and legs in the back. I followed behind with flashers. If our bug hit any windshield, it should be mine. Driving by Oakland Cemetery, he tried to jump. We pulled over and hog-tied him.
But he came easily and eagerly into the bar and up onto his hook in the ceiling. He lost one leg and smacked one customer in the head. Not bad at all. I was expecting full-combat spider wresting to get Boris into the Yacht. Silly me. What dapper spider wouldn't want to hang at the Yacht?
9/10
When I was shopping for spider supplies, they didn't have small amounts of black landscape fabric. But the big empty box was made out of black plastic cardboard. Waterproof. Perfect for Boris' top hat.
Yesterday, I went to Value Village and found a $5 full length mirror for the float, which, I predict, will be a terrific source of comedy. Likewise, a large empty gold frame, for vanity photo shoot purposes. And several $.99 velvety pillows. On the way home, I stopped to cut bamboo - for Boris' legs - at my bamboo grove of choice, just a few blocks away. I met the owner and we're welcome to all the bamboo we could ever want. He told me all about the process of making bamboo furniture. We will not be making bamboo furniture.
I unloaded and went to Cam & Joy's to get a hunk of styrofoam for the head and body. (Thank you for storing that for all these years!) On the way, I pulled over for a pile of trash in front of the house where I've picked up some of my finest treasures. There was a box full of beautiful extra-large sheets of watercolor paper, black foam core, a float-lamp post, and a heavy square of ply wood that would be perfect for the top of the platform in the rear. It fit, with a half inch to spare, in my Subaru Justy. I had to go home and unload and go back to Joy's.
We stuffed a piece of foam into the Justy. On the return, I noticed a small wooden platform in a construction dumpster. It was exactly what we needed, and it fit into Joy's Scion, with a half-inch to spare. The ply wood top is a perfect fit.
I roughly sculpted Boris' body, but I couldn't wait to see if the bamboo would work for the legs. So Witchdoctor and I assembled his legs, poked them through the foam, and he stood strong! His legs are pipe insulation and have wonderful movement!
This morning, I pulled his legs off and finished his body and added the necessary hooks for his lines. I sculpted his head and built his top hat. During the day, my neighbor, from all the way across the Kudzu Sea, bravely waded over, "Excuse me, but was there a giant spider here last night?"
xoxxxoxoxo -C
ps. What is the name of the intro whistle tune? I picked it up from an old black man (a truly brilliant whistler) who walked by my house for awhile. I heard it has something to do with worms . . . ?
September 5, 2006
The Krewe of the Grateful Gluttons is thrilled to embark on another outrageous adventure with the Euclid Avenue Yacht Club!
Every Yacht needs a krewe. Every Krewe needs a bar.
For the strictest purpose of silliness we shall illustrate THE SPIDER AND THE FLY. A Cautionary Tale. We're going to build an enchanted parlor for all the pretty little flies . . . and a big hairy spider named Boris! A spectacle to behold at the Little Five Points Halloween Parade! Saturday, October 21st.
Are you a spider? Or are you a fly? Or are you a twitching eaten-away luna moth? Whatever you are, BE IT.
And come walk with us.
Line-up at 4:00 on Austin Avenue. After party at the Yacht! T-shirts will be for sale through the bar! The design will be here, soon.
xoxoxxxoo -C
ps. There is a hard copy of everything here AT THE YACHT in a black book, labeled The Spider and the Fly, behind the bar.
pps. Very Special Captain's prize for who can name the tune I'm whistling.
